Middle of the night moments

I am trying so hard at the moment to stay as positive as I can, to enjoy my pregnancy and to treasure the moments when Jessica wriggles. I try not to sink into self-pity or despair – she is still here, there is still hope of a miracle, and there are thousands of people in the world having to deal with worse things. But sometimes I wake in the night and my dread and fear of the journey ahead grips me and the strength that I somehow possess during the day leaves me and I just feel very scared and helpless.