Backstage at Musical Mischief

So of course, now that things are slowing down at work and I’m in the third trimester, I’m taking things easy, putting my feet up and relaxing… Or, maybe not! This week I’m helping out backstage for Musical Mischief – this year’s Pastiche Theatre concert. Of course, I’m not moving scenery or anything – just making sure that people are in the wings at the right time. Even though I’ve given up treading the boards, I just can’t walk away from the am-dram scene entirely. I have to confess though I am missing being on stage just a tiny bit this time…

Camp NaNoWriMo - another challenge met!

28 days into Camp NaNoWriMo, the challenge has been met and the winner’s line crossed! I have written 50,841 words and have the beginnings of a first draft (still incomplete though) and it has been good to get back into the habit of writing more regularly again. There is still another month of camp available in August so the question is am I crazy enough to do it all again next month or shall I just focus on what I’ve written this time round and finish the first draft? Of course, there’s last year’s NaNoWriMo novel to edit as well…

32 week scan update - part 2

Jessica is continuing to grow well – at yesterday’s scan, her weight was estimated to be 4lb 2oz which is fairly average for this stage of pregnancy. She also seems to be coping well with everything – there are no signs at present that her heart is starting to fail and hopefully this will continue to be the case. She is still just as active as ever (and just as hiccuppy!) – she was wriggling about so much during the scan yesterday that trying to measure the blood flow through various parts of her heart was a bit of a challenge at times!

32 week scan update - part 1

Today’s scan shows a similar picture in terms of blood flow to the one two weeks ago but we have been given another glimmer of hope. The team in Southampton have seen our scans and are willing to consider attempting surgery after Jessica is born. It will depend on whether she is well enough after birth for surgery to be attempted but at least it may now be an option. If I go into labour from now onwards, then Jessica will be given drugs after birth to keep the hole in her heart open and then assessed for possible surgery.

Ladder logic

During the get-in of a show, the seats in the auditorium are pushed back, so to get to the sound box at the back, where Michael is usually working, I have to climb a ladder. The fact that I’m still happy to do this at seven months’ pregnant seems to cause my mother-in-law concern that I am putting her granddaughter at risk. I wouldn’t do it if I thought I was likely to fall – my daughter’s safety is the most important thing to me too. Surely having more weight at the front means I’m less likely to fall off anyway?

A day at the spa...

Hubby and I decided that it would be a good idea to spend some quality time together before baby Jessica arrives and as we had really enjoyed our last spa day back in November, we decided that we should do it again (having got a spa voucher from my mother-in-law for my birthday also helped!). We had a lovely day and had a massage, facial and pedicure each so both of us now feel very chilled out as a result. I think Jessica enjoyed it all too if all the little wriggles I was getting were anything to go by!

Camp NaNoWriMo update

This month’s writing challenge is going much better than last month’s – I’m now up to the 40,000 word mark so just another week and another 10,000 words to go. Slowing down at work has definitely helped – I have more time to write, although trying to get back into the habit of writing 1600+ words per day was a real struggle at first, but I think I’ve got into the swing of it now. And then after a good day on the writing front, what better way to finish it then by going out for a curry with some good friends?

Playtime

Jessica’s wriggles are definitely much bigger now and I can see my bump really move when she starts being active. She also gets hiccups quite a lot – generally several times a day. Michael and I sometimes play a little with her when she is active – patting where she has kicked in response to her movements or balancing a CD case or something like that on my bump when she is moving and watch it moving about with her. She also seems more responsive – often if she is quiet, I will rest my hand on my bump and she’ll then wriggle.

Here's to the ladies who lunch

Technically I’m still working at the moment, but now that all my clients have given birth and I’m no longer on call for births, things are slowing down. I now only have one client left to do postnatal visits for and so have a lot more free time to spend at home or catching up with friends – being a ‘lady wot lunches’. This afternoon was spent catching up with some midwifery friends whom I used to work with – one of them has recently had a baby boy so it was lovely to meet him as well and have some cuddles.

Thoughts on Google+

I use social networking sites a lot, so had been interested in trying out Google+. I have to say, that I haven’t really been that impressed so far. Part of the problem is having so few friends also on Google+ but there are other problems I’ve had with it so far – not being able to find friends that I knew were also on there and they couldn’t find me either (which seemed bizarre given Google’s strength as a search engine) but I’ve also struggled with adjusting privacy settings on photos. Can’t see it replacing facebook any time soon for me.

RIP Olive

Have been saying goodbye to a very lovely lady from my church today. Olive passed away recently at the grand old age of 95 and was one of the first people whom I got to know at the church I attend, mainly because she knew Michael’s family so well, having been good friends with Michael’s nanna when Michael’s nanna was alive. She was always very smiley and friendly, interested in everything that was going on and was quite sprightly up until a few months ago. The church was quite packed with people saying their goodbyes to her yesterday. RIP Olive.

Preparing for another show

Despite having given up on treading the boards nearly a year ago, I haven’t quite managed to detach myself from am-dram entirely – I still help by putting the programme together and Michael likes to get involved on the technical side so we end up going to a couple of the last rehearsals before show week and then being around during some of show week itself. It’s a strange feeling to be involved in the show in this way – whilst you are still a little part of it all, in some ways you don’t really feel part of it at all.

Starting to nest

My nesting instinct has started to kick in. Trying to prepare for Jessica’s arrival is difficult though – we want to go and buy some things, but because the future is so very uncertain, we can’t buy all that much right now. Wandering around baby shops brings the realisation home again that our situation is so very different from how we’d anticipated things being at this stage. I’ve cleared space in our guest bedroom for the few baby things that we do have, but clearing out the room which was originally intended to be the nursery remains on hold for now.

Thank you for the music(als)

Spent the afternoon at a surprise party for the director of the am-dram group I used to be involved with. After about fifty years of directing am-dram shows, she decided to step down after the most recent production of Kiss Me Kate and so today was a chance for lots of people who have been involved in various shows over the years to say thank you for all the hard work she has put in. It was good to see lots of the people that I have done shows with in the few years I was involved in the group.

Swimming pool shock

The idea of going for a swim in the local outdoor pool on a lovely sunny day seemed quite appealing, particularly as I suspected it wouldn’t be too busy as the school holidays haven’t yet started. The only thing I didn’t check was whether it was heated or not and got quite a shock when I got in the water to discover it was absolutely freezing cold! I thought going for a swim would be nice and relaxing – I wasn’t prepared for the experience to be bracing instead! Next time, I think I will go for the heated indoor pool.

Cordocentesis results

We had the results of the cordocentesis (a test where blood is taken from the umbilical cord and screened for genetic abnormalities) back today and thankfully the results are completely normal. Our consultants didn’t think that it was very likely that Jessica’s heart condition was linked to any genetic abnormalities but it is a relief that this has been confirmed. The test has also confirmed that Jessica is definitely a little girl – we would have been very surprised if this hadn’t been the case after all the scans that we have had but it is good to be completely certain.

30 week scan update

Today’s scan showed that things are fairly similar to how they were last week – the blood flow through Jessica’s heart and surrounding blood vessels is about the same, and there is still fairly high pressure in the left atrium. The plan remains the same at present – not to intervene after she is born (although it would be too early as yet to do anything anyway). We will keep praying for further improvement and for post-birth surgery to become an option though. On the plus side, she seems to still be coping well and growing nicely (estimated weight now 3lb 1oz).

It's good to talk...

Whilst I generally manage to enjoy my pregnancy, there are times when I find it hard and feel a bit isolated because I can’t quite relate to what other women are focusing on at this stage of pregnancy. Since Jessica’s diagnosis, I have discovered that one of my school friends has a son with a similar heart condition. It felt strange to be calling her for a chat after so many years but within minutes we were chatting away easily and I felt so much better for being able to talk to someone who understood exactly how I was feeling.

2nd wedding anniversary

This time two years ago, Michael and I were celebrating at our wedding reception. Our wedding day was fabulous – I don’t think I stopped smiling from the moment I woke up that morning until my head finally hit the pillow that night. I feel very blessed to have had two years of married life with such a wonderful supportive and loving husband. The last two years have not been the easiest by any means, but I am so glad to have had Michael by my side during them, and I hope we will get to spend many more years together.

Getting back to work

When I finished work a couple of weeks ago to take time off for Jessica’s operation, it was all very uncertain as to whether I would start my maternity leave at that point or not depending on the outcome and care for my last clients had to be taken over by my colleagues just in case. It has been good to get back to work again in the last couple of days. The last of my babies has now arrived and so I just have a few postnatal visits left to do before I go off on my maternity leave.

Beading workshop

Every time I go to a church beading day, I always end up buying a lot of beads but this time I was determined not to and use up some of the beads I already have instead. I didn’t quite succeed in not buying anything – needed to get some clasps and silver beads but managed to avoid the temptation to spend a fortune on beads I don’t really need. It was a very productive day – made five new necklaces, tried some new techniques and finally used some of the beads that have been sitting in my bead box for ages.

One week post-surgery - scan update

Our scan yesterday shows that Jessica is doing well after last week’s surgery. The team are pleased that the surgery was successful in that the hole in her heart has been enlarged and she coped well with the procedure. There is some improvement in blood flow through that hole and through one of the pulmonary veins although the blood flow through the other still seems much the same and so the current plan is still for comfort care after birth. We will keep praying for further improvements as she will still need more surgery after birth in order to survive.

Things that go bump in the night

Hubby is a bit of a night owl and I often end up waking in the night and wandering downstairs to find he’s fallen asleep on the sofa. Last night, I headed downstairs in the dark and appeared in the doorway just as he was turning off the lights to come upstairs. I thought he’d heard me, but clearly not because he turned round and nearly jumped out of his skin! I don’t think I’ve seen him look so scared since I woke him up dressed as Fruma Sarah during Fiddler – only this time I wasn’t intending to frighten him.

Preparing to return to work

I met up with my colleagues for lunch today and enjoyed catching up with them all. I’m still off work at the moment, recovering from last week’s surgery. We had to put plans in place to cover my two remaining clients (one of whom has yet to give birth) as it was uncertain when (or if) I would be coming back, depending on how things went. Whilst I’m not planning on being fully on-call (contorting over a birth pool is no longer very easy to do!), I’m hoping to be back doing some visits from the end of this week.

Chipping away at the home improvements

When we first bought our house, we spent a lot of time decorating and trying to get as much done as possible before we moved in, knowing that things would slow down considerably once we were actually in the house. We have been living here for nearly a year now, and there is still a lot that needs to be done (admittedly losing my job at the end of last year slowed progress down a bit) and a couple of rooms are still mostly being used as storage areas for unpacked boxes. Slowly, we are chipping away at it though.

Camp NaNoWriMo

Another month brings another writing challenge as my writing buddy has challenged me to take part in Camp NaNoWriMo with its target of 50,000 words. Last month’s ‘fun’ challenge to write 30,000 words of fiction in a month was intended to be a warm-up, although with everything else going on, creative writing quickly dropped off the priorities list and I gave up around the 5000 word mark. In the end, neither of us managed to meet the target but now that I’ve finished working full-time (although am planning on doing some postnatal visits still), I might find time to write.

Taking it easy

It’s been great having my mum up for the weekend. Jessica’s surgery means that I’m now at increased risk of pre-term labour (she has to hang on until term for post-birth surgery to be an option) and the consultant’s orders are to “take things easy”. So I spent the evening with my feet up whilst my mum did the ironing and Michael cooked dinner (and I tried, not always successfully, not to interfere in the process). I’m not very good at relinquishing control of household chores to my husband but I’m sure I could get better with some more practice!

Summed up in a Facebook post

I saw this posted on a friend’s Facebook wall recently and I wanted to share it as it really does sum up how I have felt in these past couple of months and how much I have changed as a person since discovering about Jessica’s heart condition:

“Having a child with a life threatening condition changes you. It brings out strength in you that you never knew you had, it makes you appreciate the little things in life, it makes you fear that every memory you make together may be your last, and it teaches you that miracles do happen.”

So much to be thankful for

We have so much to thank God for. We are thankful for the medical team who were willing to perform a new and complicated surgical procedure, for their skills and determination to succeed with the surgery, for the fabulous care we have received from the all the team at Oxford, for all our friends, family and everyone who has been praying for Jessica throughout all of this (some of whom we don’t even know) and for the fact that our baby girl is still here and wriggling. Just to be in this place right now is a miracle in itself.