Time to deck the halls...

Just over a week to go until Christmas and I still haven’t managed to get my decorations up. To be fair, we normally don’t put them up until mid-December so we’re really only a little later than usual this year, but when everyone else seems to have put theirs up at the start of December (and sometimes earlier), it does feel like we’re very late at getting them up. Hopefully we’ll find the time over the next couple of days to get them down from the loft – once they’re up it will really feel like Christmas is on the way.

Family time

We have had a lovely time catching up with the family and introducing Sophie to some more of her aunties, uncles and cousins. Seeing Jessica with her cousin Scarlett who is ten days older was particularly delightful – they were both so happy to see each other and kept giving each other cuddles and kisses before sitting down and colouring in pictures together. Sophie, as usual, slept through most of it all but seemed to enjoy all the cuddles that she got from everyone. I enjoyed being able to have a bit of a doze while everyone else entertained my children!

Ocean Ward Christmas party

Our third Christmas party of the year was the Families of Ocean Ward Christmas party – organised by other heart parents who have had their children treated at the same hospital as Jessica was treated at. Jessica thoroughly enjoyed herself in the soft play area and on the bouncy castle although wasn’t quite so sure this year about meeting Father Christmas although she did like the present! Sophie wasn’t impressed at all at seeing Father Christmas and voiced her objection to it all in no uncertain terms (although being hungry may have also had something to do with it as well!)

Christmas rush

The run-up to Christmas is always such a busy time. Every year, I think I’ll be more organised and not leave everything to the last minute; I’ll start writing the Christmas cards towards the end of November so that I’m not rushing to get them written in time to get posted so that they’ll reach people before Christmas and every year it feel s like somehow Christmas still manages to sneak up on me and it all ends up being a last minute rush. Of course, having a new baby this year does give me an excuse for being disorganised!

Things which make me happy

Things which make me happy:

• Seeing Sophie smiling and starting to really look at people.
• Watching Jessica chattering away to herself when she is sitting in her chair with her books.
• Snuggles with my babies – the way Sophie just curls up against me and nuzzles into my shoulder and Jessica climbing into my lap and snuggling up to me (miss the days when I could just sit and cuddle Jessica all day without her wriggling to get down)
• Watching my husband with our beautiful girls and seeing how much their daddy loves them – my three favourite people in the world. 

Sophie's stage and TV debut

Sophie made her stage debut in today’s concert being rocked by Mummy for her solo ‘Hush You, My Baby’ (and also accompanied Mummy on stage for the group numbers too!) She was underwhelmed by her first stage appearance – in fact she slept through the entire concert! Then in the evening, she made her TV debut too as she appeared on ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ being cuddled by the celebrity dancer Sophie Ellis-Bextor at the Downing Steet children’s Christmas party (and even got a mention too!). We were inundated with text messages from excited friends and family members who had spotted her.

Happy heart day

It is two years today since Jessica had her second major open-heart surgery. Today we have been putting on a concert to help fundraise for the paediatric intensive care unit where she was treated and we managed to raise £376 which was great. We are so very thankful to all the medical team who have looked after Jessica – without all the wonderful care she has received, she wouldn’t be here today. Watching her today and seeing our beautiful brave little girl running around and dancing on stage is such a huge blessing and we thank God every day for her.

Children and concert rehearsals

Final concert rehearsal this evening before the big day. Had to take both girls out to rehearsal with me as all my possible babysitters are all taking part and also needed to be there. Despite it being a late night for her, Jessica was quite happy playing with toys and covering the piano in stickers and Sophie was happy as long as she was being fed (am getting used to rehearsing whilst feeding but hope I won't be trying to perform and feed on Saturday!) It's all coming together now - hopefully all will go well with the performance on Saturday.

Christmas party chez Cameron

We have had such an amazing day attending a children’s Christmas party at no. 10 Downing Street which we were invited to through the Alexander Devine Children’s Hospice charity (Jessica’s community nurse is an Alexander nurse). Jessica and Sophie seemed to thoroughly enjoy the day and we got to meet the Prime Minister, children’s TV presenters Dick and Dom and some of the remaining celebrities on Strictly Come Dancing and their professional partners (which we were very excited about, being huge Strictly fans). Jessica and Sophie also got to see Father Christmas – all in all it was a wonderful day.

Little Hearts Matter

There are several charities that we have become connected with since Jessica was first diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart. The first of these was Little Hearts Matter, a charity which helps provide information and support to children who are effectively living with half a working heart and their families. Their antenatal pack, in particular, was very helpful in those early days when we were getting to grips with Jessica’s diagnosis and our options. Since Jessica’s birth, we have also found their other information leaflets helpful, particularly as the information provided is more specific for the type of condition Jessica has.

Remembering my dad

It's four years today since my dad died. Four years since I had to say goodbye to the most wonderful dad a girl could ever have. I was blessed to have thirty years with him around - so many happy memories of family life. I just wish that my little girls could have known their lovely grandad - he would have absolutely loved them to bits. I remember how much he doted on my twin sister's two daughters - I think in the last years of his life he often got a bit confused, living in the past and thinking they were us.

Coughs, colds and concerts

There's just a week to go until our Christmas concert. I haven't managed to do very much rehearsing over the last week thanks to a sore throat and a cough which have left me with very little in the way of a singing voice. Things seem rove gradually improving although the cough is still being quite persistent. I really hope it disappears by next week otherwise things could be interesting! I'm looking forward to being on stage with Sophie for my solo and it would be quite disappointing if I wasn't able to sing after all. Keeping my fingers crossed!

RIP Nelson Mandela

With the recent passing of Nelson Mandela, the world has lost a truly great man who has inspired millions of people. His death is sad news but I wouldn't describe it as 'tragic' which was one adjective I heard used on the news. The death of a child as a result of abuse and neglect; an innocent person being killed by a drunk driver; the loss of anyone who had so much more to give - these are tragic. Nelson Mandela lived to the age of 95 and helped changed the world and make it a better place. RIP Nelson Mandela.

What a difference a day makes

It's like I have a different child tonight. She's awake at the moment but calm. Her cry is not the really loud angry cry of the last few days - it is simply telling me that she needs something 'Mummy, I'm hungry', 'Mummy, change my nappy' rather than 'I'm starving, FEED ME NOW!' (followed by angry throwing herself on and off the breast). Today's chiropractic treatment seems to have made a huge difference. Poor little love, something clearly had been bothering her over the past few days. So nice to see her so much happier and have my happy baby back.

Sleepless night

Last night was definitely one of the worst nights for sleep deprivation. Sophie slept for about ten minutes in total between 7pm and 7am. We tried putting her in our bed, patting her in the Moses basket, umpteen feeds and nappy changes, giving a bottle of expressed milk, rocking, patting, singing, even putting her in the sling and going for a walk around the village at 4am. Nothing worked. Eventually she fell asleep just after 7am. Have seen the chiropractor today and she has done some gentle cranial work on Sophie so fingers crossed we have a better night tonight. 

Life in rhymes

Before we had children our Christmas newsletter was always written in rhyme. It started when I sat down to write our first joint newsletter and my husband grumbled that every suggestion I made for the first line was either too cliched or jumped in too abruptly into our news. We switched back to prose after Jessica's arrival - discussing her heart condition and surgeries in rhyme felt too flippant. This year, life has felt more 'normal' and although I wasn't originally planning to write a rhyming newsletter somehow I couldn't resist the challenge. Not sure I'll manage it every year though!

Nativity scenes

I've been taking photos today for our family Christmas card. Last year’s was a photo of Jessica in her Santa dress in front of the Christmas tree. This year, I decided that a nativity scene with Sophie and Jessica would work quite well and would also mean that Jessica wouldn’t have to hold Sophie or we wouldn’t have to try and prop her up. She wasn’t too keen on being in the basket with the hay though despite having a pillow underneath and so we had to be quite quick at taking the photo before she started voicing her objections!

Sophie's first party

Sophie went to her first ever Christmas party today with her big sister. Jessica had a lovely time at the party – it was so lovely to see how much more she enjoyed it this year compared to last year, how she really was interested in the children’s entertainer and seeing Father Christmas and watching her dancing was delightful. Sophie was completely underwhelmed by her first ever party and slept through most of it. But still, it was lovely to have a day out as a family and to take our two girls to a party in their matching party dresses.

Cardiac check-up

Had Jessica's cardiology check-up today. They are quite spaced out now (about every five months) which I guess is quite a good sign although the community nurse visits us once a month to check Jessica's oxygen saturation levels and weight. All seems to be well today - Jessica's sats were a little low initially but then picked back up to the usual levels. She was very chilled out during the heart scan (having a DVD playing was very good distraction!) Apart from not being able to get a good view of Jessica's lung arteries, all looked good on the scan.

Bedtime bedlam

This week has been quite manic with hubby working late most evenings die to various events. On the plus side, he is no longer having to go away this weekend to work on an event - the thought of four days by myself was quite daunting. Bedtime has been the biggest challenge this week - trying to juggle getting Jessica off to bed while Sophie does her best to convince me that she hasn't been fed for ages (i.e. for at least twenty minutes anyway!) - wasn't the most relaxing bedtime we've ever had but am sure I'll get better at it!

Giving thanks

Whilst Thanksgiving isn't really celebrated in the UK, it is always good to stop every so often and focus on all that I am thankful for. Particularly in my current sleep-deprived state when it seems easier at times to grumble about what I don't have and would like (sleep, an extra pair of hands, hubby home for the bedtime routine etc.) So here are some things I am thankful for:

*my two beautiful daughters and my lovely hubby

*supportive friends and family

*faith

*the NHS - Jessica wouldn't be here without the wonderful medical care she has had so far

Writing challenges

For those taking part in NaNoWriMo this month, the challenge is coming to an end and my writing friends are starting to validate their word counts. For me, the much smaller challenge of writing 100 words each day has taken the place of trying to write a novel in a month. Finding time to write these days is not always easy, even when it's just 100 words. Sometimes I think it would be better to stop trying to keep up with it but it's good to keep writing regularly, even if it's just to have an outlet for my thoughts.

Thank you hubby

I have to admit that there are definitely times when I take my wonderful hubby for granted and don't appreciate everything he tries to do to help. Sometimes I seem only to focus on the things he doesn't do rather than be thankful for what he does. In the early hours of the morning when I am awake with the baby and wanting only to sleep, it is easy to resent the person snoring beside me and forget his willingness to get up early with our toddler so I can sleep a little longer. He's not perfect but he tries.

Musings of a mummy of two

I'm learning that I don't have to try and be Supermummy. That it's ok to ask for help, to admit that juggling two children is challenging and can be very stressful. I'm remembering how exhausting life with a newborn is, how nighttime sleep seems to go out of the window sometimes and just how important it is to try and rest when I can. I'm reminding myself of the coping strategies that I used before and trying to enjoy the cuddles in the middle of the night with a wakeful hungry baby because they really don't stay babies for long.

Countdown to Christmas

It has recently dawned on me that Christmas is only a month away and I haven't even started thinking about buying presents yet. Of course having a new baby is a very good excuse for not being organised but over the last few years somehow Christmas seems to sneak up on me almost without me realising. I'm never really quite ready to think about Christmas until October is through and so I wait and then all of a sudden I realise it's the end of November and I need to start shopping particularly if I want to order things online.

Support network

I've been feeling quite exhausted over the last few days. Juggling the needs of two small children is definitely a challenge! With hubby due to be working away on an event this is one of the times when I wish that I lived closer to my family.  Lots of cousins to Jessica to play with not to mention the fabulous social support network that they provide. It's not that I don't have a support network here. I do, but I'm not very good at tapping into it. It's so much easier to ask for help when it's your own family.

To thine own self be true

One of my writing resolutions for this year was to be more honest in writing. It's not always been an easy resolution to try and keep. Even in my own personal diary I tend to focus only on the positive things, to gloss over the times when I struggle and to paint life as being much more smooth sailing than it really is. Even when I am writing only for myself, the me I write about is often an airbrushed version rather than the true version. Nothing is perfect. So why do I often try to pretend that everything is?

Recovery time

Hubby has been unwell over the last couple of days. It's a classic case of man-flu which has required bedrest, paracetamol and lots of TLC. I'm lucky apparently as I don't tend to get 'that ill'. It's just as well - staying in bed is rarely an option for me - the girls still need looking after. To be fair though, I did get to have bedrest and be looked after for a few days after Sophie's birth whilst hubby was on paternity leave and it was very nice to be waited on and have time to recover from giving birth.

Juggling

Day 4 of being on my own with my two girls and the smug feeling of being Supermummy has abruptly disappeared. It was all going so well and then all of a sudden things get a little chaotic. Sophie is wide awake and hungry just as I'm trying to sort out Jessica's lunch and put her down for a nap. Trying to cook dinner seems impossible - both girls are demanding attention very loudly. Thank goodness for ready meals and takeaways! Bedtime becomes a big juggling act. I've discovered my juggling skills aren't quite as good as I thought they were!

A little bookworm

I love watching Jessica sitting on her chair and chatting away to herself as she 'reads' one of her books. She looks at the pictures and points out things that she can see. My favourite is when she sees a picture of a cat which she calls a 'meow meow'. I live the fact that at two years old, she is already a bit of a bookworm, that she already seems to have inherited my love of books. Some days she will go through every book in her bookcase. Such a joy to watch her enjoying so many different books.

Spoilers!

I have a tendency to flick ahead when I'm reading a book and find out how it ends. I then decide if I'm interested enough in the journey to continue reading! I'm the same with films and TV programmes - I like to know what's going to happen before I start watching. I tend to watch them a day late and read reviews and spoilers. I like to spot all the little things that I might not have noticed then had I not known the story. Thankfully for Michael, I never spoil it for him by revealing any of the plot!

Christmas concert concerns

Rehearsals are now underway for our Christmas concert at church. Despite trying to keep my involvement to a minimum (my original plan was just to do the carols and do a solo) I seem to be in quite a few numbers, several of which I don't really know so I have some learning to do! Michael is also taking part so trying to make time to get to rehearsal with a new baby and a toddler is fun! Hopefully it will go well and we will raise a good amount to support the intensive care unit where Jessica was treated.

Ballroom bliss

Michael and I first met each other through ballroom dancing lessons at university and got to know each other more when we competed against each other in acrobatic rock 'n' roll before we finally became a couple. We don't dance much now but we love watching Strictly Come Dancing and commenting on the performances. Watching this week's show which was in Blackpool was particularly enjoyable - it brought back memories of dancing together in the Tower Ballroom. Plus I particularly enjoyed Kevin and Susanna's paso doble - the paso doble is one of my favourite dances and their dance was just stunning.

Time with Nanny

Now that hubby is back at work, my mum has come up to stay for a few days to help out whilst I get used to being a mummy of two. Although my first day on my own went well, it is good to have mum here to help - particularly as it is a very busy week for hubby with events - I really would have been on my own as he has been working late and having to leave very early in the morning. It is also lovely for my mum to be able to spend time with her granddaughters.

Contingency plans

Last winter Jessica had a few trips to hospital and a couple of stays due to various bugs. With winter approaching once more, I find myself wondering what will happen should Jessica need to go to hospital this year. As Sophie is breastfeeding she should hopefully be able to stay with me should I need to accompany Jessica into hospital but this isn't guaranteed and so I have started expressing and introducing a bottle of EBM so that Sophie gets used to taking a bottle as well as the breast just in case she has to be away from me.

Busyness

This month seems to be full of different appointments and check-ups. Hearing checks, health visitor appointments, trips to the chiropractor, eye check-ups , cardiology appointments, visits from the community nurse, midwife appointments. It is so good having my mum here for a few days to help me get my girls out of the house and off to the various appointments or groups that we go to. Life is very busy at the moment but it is nice to be busy. Not that a little more sleep wouldn't 't be nice but being with my babies is such a joy.

First day on my own

Hubby's paternity leave has come to an end and he is back at work so I have had my first day on my own with both my gorgeous girlies. I wasn't looking forward to it - it has been lovely to have proper family time and I was also a bit apprehensive about how I would manage to juggle everything. As it turned out, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be - I think I found my first day home alone with Jessica more challenging. Hopefully today wasn't just an unusually easy day and things will continue this way!

Going out for the night

We had our first night out since Sophie's arrival last night - going out for a meal with a group of friends. When Jessica was a baby we used to take her with us but now that she has a more fixed routine, we can't really bring her along as it is too late for her and she would get grouchy and tired. Much better for her to have time with Grandma and go to bed at a sensible time! Sophie, however, has no fixed routine as yet and so came out with us and slept through most of the evening!

Family time

I love spending time with my family. I often wish that I lived a bit closer to them so I could see my mum, siblings, nephews and nieces more often (although being Miss Independent means there is a little part of me that likes the distance and having my own space!) Living further away means that often family members will come and stay for a few days which is always nice. I'm hoping that I'll have a few visits over the coming weeks - firstly so my family can meet Sophie but also because I know how helpful they will be!

Reality check

Giving Sophie a cuddle earlier, I was thinking about how Jessica is having to adjust to not getting my full attention and having to share Mummy and I said to Sophie "you'll never know what it is like not to have Mummy's full attention as you'll always have to share Mummy."  "You hope," Michael said quietly, pulling me up short. "We hope," I repeated, saying a silent prayer that Sophie will always have to share Mummy with Jessica. This is the reality of being a heart parent - those little moments when you are reminded that the future is always uncertain.

Adjusting

Although Jessica's reaction towards Sophie is stil very much wanting to hold her and give her kisses and cuddles, it seems the reality of having to share attention with her baby sister is starting to hit home. We are getting bouts of crying for no obvious reason, clinginess and refusing to do things (the word 'no' is a favourite for Jessica to use but results in tears when we use it!) Poor little love, her world has changed and it will take some time to adjust - lots of cuddles and patience needed to help her get through this transition period.

Partial paternity leave

It has been lovely having my hubby around over the last week or so, being on hand to help with Jessica and allowing me to rest and recover from Sophie’s birth. He has had to juggle quite a lot as one of the downsides of running a business has been not really being able to switch off and have proper paternity leave – he still has to sort out some work things each day. At least he has been able to be at home though and we have been able to have some proper family time together adjusting to being four.

Fireworks

It's been quite a while since I've been to a fireworks display - I think it was probably the year before Jessica was born. I've never really been a big fan of fireworks. Perhaps having a rocket come back down inches away from where I was standing when my in-laws had a fireworks display in their back garden has something to do with my aversion. I remember the next day the garden looked like the battle of Agincourt had taken place with all the rocket sticks sticking up everywhere. Seeing that was enough to put me off fireworks for life.

Little differences

Sophie's birth has now been registered so she is now all official. At this point in Jessica's life, she was back in theatre having the second part of her hybrid procedure which made for a very anxious day for us. So many differences - even in very little things. Taking Sophie's sleepsuit off, for instance, and feeling how warm her feet are. Jessica's feet are rarely warm apart from when it is really hot during the summer and we always had to put socks on her underneath her sleepsuits when she was a small baby which we don't do with Sophie.

Venturing out

Sophie is one week old today!  After spending the whole of the last week enjoying a bit of a babymoon and being snuggled up at home together, we finally ventured out into the world today to go to church and introduce Sophie to our lovely church family.  It was so lovely to go out as a family of four - both our girls were so good during the service - Jessica played happily on the floor with some toys and Sophie just slept through it all.  Our friend Brian came over in the afternoon and took some lovely family photos of us.

Looking back

Sitting watching Strictly Come Dancing this evening and remembering this time last week - feeling Pod wriggling away and having a few niggles. I remember stroking my bump and telling Pod to at least wait until it had finished before deciding to arrive. In the end, it all started just after the clocks went back. Watched Strictly tonight with beautiful Sophie in my arms which was lovely but part of me missed Pod's wriggles. Can't believe it has been nearly a week already since Sophie's birth - it has gone so fast, such a lovely week of being cocooned together at home.

Beautiful moments

I love all the little milky-drunk smiles that Sophie gives me after she has had a good feed - they are so beautiful and melt my heart every time. Watching Jessica with her baby sister is also so beautiful - Jessica is so very loving and affectionate and just wants to keep kissing and cuddling Sophie. Like most toddlers, she is a little too enthusiastic and we have to keep reminding her to be very gentle. Still haven't ventured out yet - just enjoying the beautiful moments and the feeling of being in our own little cocoon concentrating on our little family,

Missing my bump

I'm overjoyed to finally have my new baby girl but there is a part of me that misses my baby bump. I miss feeling all of those little wriggles inside me, seeing those little movements. I miss the feeling of new life inside me, the joy and the privilege of being able to carry a child. I miss catching a sideways glimpse in the mirror and the feeling of admiration and amazement at how my body could expand. I miss the feeling of being so constantly and completely connected with my baby. Pregnancy is such an amazing and special time. 

Too much knowledge...

Whilst my experience of being a midwife has generally been very good for preparing me for motherhood, there are definitely times when it has not been so helpful. I know some of my fear during the transition stage in labour was due to remembering various problems encountered during some of the births I'd attended as a midwife. It also means there are times when I'm struggling with something, such as trying to get the hang of breastfeeding again and it takes me a long time to ask for help because I feel like I should know what I am doing! 

Comparing

Things are very different this time around. We are enjoying all being cocooned at home together and having a little 'babymoon' whereas last time we spent our days on PICU looking at Jessica in an incubator as she recovered from open heart surgery. I am recovering so much better from giving birth because I can take time to rest which I couldn't do before. We also couldn't give Jessica cuddles at this stage and I remember how unnatural it was to be separated from her so much. Am grateful for it all though as it helped get her here today.

Adjusting to being four

So amazing to think we are now a family of four. Just feeling so very blessed to have our two beautiful little girls and enjoying getting to know our little bundle of joy. Jessica is adjusting well to being a big sister - she wants to keep giving Sophie cuddles and kisses which is absolutely adorable. When asked 'do you love your little sister?' she gives a big grin and nods. It is just lovely to watch. There have of course been a few moments when you can see she's realising that her world has changed but she is doing well.

Pod is here!

We are thrilled to announce that Pod has arrived! Baby Sophie Elizabeth was born in the pool at home this morning and weighs in at 8lb 10.5oz – a whole 3lb heavier than her big sister was at birth! Jessica has been absolutely fascinated with her little sister – she met her within a few minutes of Sophie’s arrival and kept saying ‘baby’ over and over again and wanting cuddles and kisses with her. We have had such a lovely first day with the new addition to our family – Sophie is absolutely gorgeous and we are so thrilled to finally meet her.

Firework frustration

I’m sure that when I was a child, fireworks were generally only set off on the Saturday after Hallowe’en, the 5th November, during Diwali and New Year’s Eve.  Now it seems that for several weeks from about this point in October, somebody seems to be setting off fireworks somewhere in the local area almost every night.  It is very annoying, particularly when your toddler is just dropping off to sleep and a neighbour decides to start having his own fireworks display causing bedtime to become very disrupted and prolonged.  It must be a nightmare if you have pets as well.

Concert planning

I’m involved in organising a Christmas concert at church which will be fundraising for Friends of PICU, a charity which helps support children in intensive care at Southampton General Hospital and their families. Thankfully my mother-in-law is also involved in organising this so I can take a bit more of a back seat once Pod arrives but am still planning on taking part in the concert (not entirely sure that this is really very sensible of me given that I will have a very small baby and a toddler to look after!) Oh well, at least it keeps me busy!

Ready for half term break

Next week is half term which means that the toddler groups we go to regularly will not be on.  I wasn’t sure that I’d manage to take Jessica to her regular groups right up until the half term break given Pod’s due date but we’ve managed to get to all of them.  I’m glad we made it to Tiny Talk this morning as it was a fancy dress session and Jessica got to wear the Sully costume I bought her for a fancy dress party earlier in the year (which she missed due to ending up in hospital with gastroenteritis).

Location, location

One of the things I love about where I live is being so close to all the village amenities. The infant school and children’s centre are both opposite my house, the junior school and nursery school are five minutes’ walk away as are the village shops (which include a bakery and pharmacy – the latter being particularly useful as Jessica has regular medication) and the doctor’s surgery is next door. The only downside is that getting out of the driveway can be a challenge at certain times of day when the road gets busy and sometimes people park blocking it altogether.

Testing out toys

One of the things I love about going to all the different groups with Jessica is the fact that she gets to play with different toys or try activities that she wouldn’t always get to do at home. She loves playing with sand (definitely not an indoor activity at home – although maybe we’ll get a sandpit for the garden next summer) and last week she took an interest in Play-Doh for the first time. It helps me know which toys to buy next as well as I can wait until she starts being ready for certain toys before getting them.

Good news

I’ve been getting anxious over the last few days as two of my lovely independent midwife friends are currently providing my midwifery care and it was looking like they wouldn’t be able to provide intrapartum care after 25 October due to the EU directive requiring them to have professional indemnity insurance (currently unavailable). Thankfully the Nursing and Midwifery Council have confirmed that independent midwives can continue practising as normal until early next year and so I can now relax knowing my friends will still be able to be my midwives even if Pod wants to wait another couple of weeks!

No place like home

As my due date gets closer, I find that I don’t want to travel too far away from home. We were invited to an afternoon tea and quiz that friends of ours are involved in organising but it is over an hour’s drive away from home. It’s not very far really, and whilst it would be lovely to see that group of friends, I just feel more comfortable staying within a few miles of home ‘just in case’. I do miss going to visit my family (again, an hour’s drive away) but at the moment, there’s no place like home!

Happy 80th birthday Dad

If my dad had still been alive, today would have been his eightieth birthday. It’s been nearly four years since he passed away. I had been half-hoping that Pod would arrive today but it seems that Pod would prefer not to share his or her grandads’ birthday. Grandads plural – it is also Michael’s dad’s sixty-sixth birthday today. I wish my dad could have been around to see my children – family was so very important to him and he loved birthdays especially because everyone came in to see him and he just loved being surrounded by his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Gender guesses

We decided not to find out Pod’s gender at the 20 week scan and so we have been getting lots of guesses from our friends and family as to whether we are expecting a boy or a girl. Earlier on in my pregnancy, the balance was tipped slightly in favour of a girl but now there has been a definite swing in favour of a boy. Whether this is due to the shape of my bump, or the fact we already have a girl or just gut feeling from people, who knows. We’re looking forward to finding out very soon!

Ponderings on plants

I’m not very good with plants.  Houseplants rarely last very long with me – I forget to water them and then I overwater them when I do remember.  I was telling a friend about this a couple of days after my birthday earlier this year and was a bit embarrassed when she then presented me with a pot plant for my birthday!  I think that has helped motivate me a little to try harder to keep this particular plant alive – so far it is still going strong and still has flowers on it – this may well be a record for me!

More nesting

Thankfully last night was a much better night sleep-wise and I have more energy today.   Which is great, as the nesting instinct has kicked right back in and I have ended up cleaning the entire house from top to bottom as well as getting all the ironing done.  That aside, there are no other indications that Pod is ready to arrive just yet – hopefully he or she will hold off for a couple of days as Michael is working away on an event at the moment and is a couple of hours’ drive away (which makes me a little anxious!)

The 'Anxious Awaiters'

They've started. The phone calls to 'see how I am', 'any twinges yet?' Despite my due date not being until the end of the month, it seems people are anxiously awaiting some signs that Pod's arrival is imminent. So far they've been disappointed. As far as I can tell Pod appears to be very comfy still and in no hurry to be evicted from the big mamma house. Which is fine. Pod will come when he or she is ready. And in the meantime I will make the most of being able to have one to one time with Jessica.

Insomnia

I've been suffering from insomnia quite a lot over the last few days. Most nights I seem to wake in the early hours and then be unable to get back to sleep for at least a couple of hours. It's not that I struggle too much to get comfortable or even Pod bouncing on my bladder that is keeping me awake - just that I can't seem to turn off my busy brain and go back to sleep and even my hypnotherapy CD doesn't really help. I guess it is nature's way of preparing me for going back to disturbed nights.

Thirteen on the thirteenth

It is thirteen years today since my hubby and I first got together. It was a Friday 13th just a few hours after I left the house declaring that I enjoyed being single and was going to stay single for a while. I’d never thought of Michael as anything but a good friend but something changed that night and within a few days I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It’s not always been an easy road but we’ve travelled it together and hopefully we’ll continue to do so for many more years.

Saturday coffee mornings

I love the Saturday coffee mornings at my church.  Each week, someone different organises them – usually in aid of a charity close to their hearts (we usually organise two or three each year for the charities that have helped us since Jessica’s diagnosis).  Sometimes there are cakes, other times just tea, coffee and biscuits but we always have a lovely sociable morning and Jessica loves going along to church.  It is such a familiar environment for her – she knows where the toys are and I can sit and chat and just watch her play, knowing that she will be safe.

A little trip to A&E

As the weather was nice this morning, I thought it would be good to take Jessica to the park. Unfortunately on the way home, she tripped and fell on her face resulting in quite a nasty cut on the inside of her lip. After discussion with the cardiac nurse about the risks of endocarditis, it was decided we should head in to hospital to get it checked out and so we had an unexpected trip to A&E. Thankfully, it didn’t need any stitches and the doctors don’t feel that Jessica needs antibiotics so hopefully it will heal without any problems.

A little bookworm

I have always loved books and it seems that Jessica has inherited my love of books too which is great because they are very easy to keep in the change bag for keeping her occupied when we are out and about. Over the last few days she has discovered she can reach the books on the chest of drawers next to her cot. It's great because she'll happily sit and look at them when she wakes up and I get to doze for a little while! Am making the most of the extra sleep while I can still get it!

One of those days...

Why is that there are some days when absolutely everything seems to go wrong or at least be a lot more difficult than it really should be?  Yes, I know mental attitude makes a difference – making things seem to be a problem that really wouldn’t be seen as such in a more positive frame of mind but even allowing for that today has really been quite a trying day.  Jessica has been generally adorable throughout though which has helped as has a nice long soak in the bath once she was tucked up in bed.  Oh well, tomorrow’s another day…

The joys of online shopping

I love online shopping. I never tried it before I became a mum but it is much easier to order groceries online and get them delivered than to traipse around the supermarket with a toddler. It also means I'm much more likely to stick to my shopping list rather than buy things on a whim or because they are on special offer (when I wouldn't normally buy them). Plus with some supermarkets I can do my shopping using the app on my phone which is particularly useful when Jessica wants me to sit in her room until she falls asleep!

Lunchtime challenges

All of our downstairs rooms are on the small side and having the pool set up means the dining room is pretty much out of action at the moment. The table has been folded down and put away as have the chairs and there is just about enough room to put the highchair up with me sitting on the piano stool during dinner. It did make having a friend and her toddler over for lunch somewhat challenging - in the end we had a little picnic on the lounge floor which worked fairly well even if it was a bit messy! 

A brief moment of panic

I'm now at the stage of pregnancy where dropping the laundry basket on my big toe whilst sorting out the washing upstairs and yelping resulted in my hubby running upstairs in rather a hurry to 'see if I was alright'. I think he was worried that I'd gone into labour all of a sudden and was quite relieved when I reassured him that everything was fine. didn't notice the popping but loved listening to you sing with me - lovely voice, thanks for joining :-) despite the fact that dropping the laundry basket on it hurt quite a bit, my toe is absolutely fine and is barely even bruised. And I definitely haven't gone into labour just yet!

A very productive day

It has been a very productive day.  We have bought a new car seat for Jessica, put the birthing pool back up again (the replacement heater arrived yesterday and so far seems to be okay, fingers crossed!), and started filling it up.  The pram cover is washed, the muslins have been washed and ironed, and I have finished the little pile of mending (although sewing is really no fun with carpal tunnel!).  Nesting has definitely kicked in!  I’m not in a hurry for Pod to arrive but I am at least feeling fairly ready for his or her arrival now.

Musings on milk

I’ve been taking part in an online debate about wet nursing and giving donor milk (neither of which I’m opposed to – Jessica had donor milk when she was first born and I have donated several litres to a milk bank). It’s a shame that such debates often result in women attacking other women because of how they choose to feed their babies though. I know breast is best but would never judge anyone for choosing formula. Jessica was breastfed for 17 months but had formula too for various reasons relating to her heart condition so I can appreciate both sides.

National Poetry Day - The Birthing Pool

Well today is National Poetry Day
And water is the theme
So I could write about a river
Or a puddle, or a stream
But I thought about my birthing pool
And all the havoc it did wreak
When we found the floor was soaking
‘Cos the pool had sprung a leak
Now the room is like a sauna
Thanks to the big dehumidifier
And we’re waiting for replacement parts
From the birthing pool supplier
While the carpet slowly dries out
And the pool is out of action
We hope that baby stays put
And won’t start off a contraction

Pool dramas

It took a few attempts to get the birthing pool assembled (due to the padded floor mats which kept separating) but we finally got it put up and filled late last night.  Only to discover at 4am that the carpet was soaked.  The pipes we put together and checked were fine – it was the heater that was faulty and leaking.  So we had to pump out the water, take the pool apart again and try and dry the carpet.  We now have an industrial dehumidifier going to help dry the carpet and a replacement heater should be arriving on Friday.

Here we are in October already!

I can’t believe we are in October already and all being well, Pod should be making his or her appearance at some point later this month. The birthing pool arrived this morning so it is all starting to feel much more imminent now! I’ve enjoyed this pregnancy and whilst I am looking forward to meeting Pod, I am still quite happy to wait until Pod is ready rather than being impatient for his or her arrival. It is lovely to feel all those little movements and I think I will probably miss them for a few days after Pod arrives.

Singing solo

I was asked to sing a hymn as a solo for this morning’s church service which was organised by our worship planning group. I love singing but I did find that singing a solo at church was much more nerve-wracking than singing a solo in a concert although I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps it was just because it was a hymn I didn’t know and I only had a couple of days to learn it (although admittedly it was my choice to learn it by heart – I’ve always preferred not to have any music in my hand where possible).

Keeping going

I was feeling quite tired and lazy this morning and felt quite tempted to bail out of going to Stay and Play. Two things made me get up and make the effort though. Firstly (and most importantly) it is good for Jessica to get out of the house and have the space to run around and the chance to play with other children. And secondly because I have now reached the stage where missing any of my regular groups potentially means that people might start getting unnecessarily excited and think that Pod has made a bit of an early appearance.

Wonderful words

Jessica’s speaking vocabulary is continuing to grow at a rate of knots.  New words over the last few days include ‘beads’, ‘turtle’ (was quite impressed by that one!), ‘meow’, ‘egg’, ‘crab’, ‘flower’, ‘keys’, ‘tea’ and my favourite by a long, long way – ‘mummy’.  Jessica has been able to say ‘mum-mum’ for quite a long time but to hear her saying ‘mummy’ is just the most beautiful sound ever.  Particularly when she is wandering around saying it over and over again – love it!  We’ve also added ‘daddy’ to the repertoire too – although she still prefers to say ‘da’ at the moment!

Curry night

Lovely night out having a curry with our ‘quiz group’ friends (so called because we used to get together regularly a few years back for the pub quiz although these days our meet-ups are much less frequent and usually involve curry rather than pub quizzes!). It dawned on me when Grandma turned up to babysit that this was the fourth time I had left Jessica in a week (my sister Maxine stayed for a few days and babysat as I had church meetings two nights in a row) which is very unusual as I rarely leave her with a babysitter!

Appointment angst

Wasn’t too impressed at waiting at the doctors’ surgery this afternoon for my antenatal check-up only to be told that the midwife hadn’t turned up for her clinic so all the appointments had to be rearranged and as the next clinic at the surgery was full, I was told to call the community midwives office to arrange an appointment at the hospital who told me they couldn’t fit me in until 8th October at the earliest!  Fortunately the GP surgery have managed to squeeze me in for a check next week so I can at least get my bloods done.

Ticking off the to-do's

I’m gradually working my way through the to-do list of all the things I’d like to finish doing before Pod makes his or her appearance – scrapbooking the cards from when Jessica was born, getting various things ready for Pod’s arrival (mostly done although still a couple of things that need doing) – whilst making the most of still being able to give Jessica my full attention. I’ve had a bit of a burst of energy over the last few days which has helped and the nesting instinct is definitely kicking in. I’m starting to feel ready now – not long to go!

The little things in life - part 2

I posted a few weeks back about little things in life which make me happy.  A letter from the local council saying that we are going to get two wheelie bins (one for mixed recycling, the other for general waste) and the list of recyclables that can go in the bins is going to be expanded plus we can also request a bin for garden waste was what made me very happy today. That’ll save a few trips to the tip in future!  Just another little thing – although does make me wonder if perhaps I need to get out more!

Tidy-up time

Jessica is very good when it comes to putting her toys and books away before bedtime – it’s something that’s been part of her routine for quite a long time. It means though that when we go to groups and the leader says ‘five minutes to tidy-up time’, Jessica’s automatic reaction is to go and get the box for the toys instantly. She also loves to help me dust – and this morning I watched her pull the fabric leaves off a toy lettuce and start cleaning her bricks and toys with it! I like this tidiness trait – hopefully it will last!

A bit of a road trip

Jessica and I have been keeping Michael company today as he had to take some equipment up to Liverpool for an event. It was quite a long journey for a day trip (450 mile round trip) but Jessica coped very well with all the travelling (she’s probably quite resigned to it after all the postbox hunting!) particularly as she had plenty of toys and snacks to keep her occupied and we made regular stops so she could get out and walk about for a bit. We had a lovely walk around Albert Dock whilst Michael was busy unloading the van.

Relaxing at the spa

Had a lovely relaxing spa day – my birthday present from my mother-in-law. A lovely pregnancy pamper treatment in the morning, a swim (or more accurately just floating) in the pool, yummy lunch and then a facial in the afternoon. I fell asleep in the relaxation room after lunch and had to be woken for my facial but it was lovely just to have time out and be able to completely relax. Jessica thoroughly enjoyed having a Daddy day and it was so wonderful to come back home feeling all chilled out to beautiful smiles and cuddles from my little girl.

Speaking and signing

Jessica’s speaking vocabulary has really come on leaps and bounds in the last couple of weeks. We have been getting new words pretty much every day and today we had four new words: ‘towel’, ‘four’, ‘five’ and ‘six’. She is also starting to learn to count – when asked ‘what comes after one?’, she will reply ‘two’ and ‘what comes after two?’, ‘three’. Her signing vocabulary has been very good for a while but she picks up new signs very quickly now too. It is so wonderful to watch her developing new skills and seeing how pleased she is with herself!

Preparing for Pod

Had an appointment this afternoon with one of my lovely independent midwives (who I worked with very closely when I was still practising). She brought my birth bag with her and we discussed my preferences for birth. It made me realise just how close I am now getting to the time when Pod is likely to make his or her arrival. I have been washing Jessica’s newborn nappies so they are all ready for when Pod arrives. They are so unbelievably tiny – I find it hard to believe that Jessica ever fitted into them. Her nappies look huge in comparison.

Nesting

I think nesting has started to kick in. Yesterday I spent most of Jessica’s nap time sorting out boxes in the study (which really is a storage room more than anything else!) and today I have been cleaning out the kitchen cupboards. I’ve definitely started feeling a bit more energetic over the last few days as well which is a good thing although does also mean that I have a tendency to overdo things and then spend the evening feeling quite achy. I still have a few more weeks before Pod is ‘due’ – hopefully this burst of energy will last!

Easing the numbness

I’ve given up waiting for a referral about the carpal tunnel and have bought wrist splints from the pharmacy as it has been getting worse and I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with struggling to write, or open jars or anything like that. My lovely chiropractor has worked on my wrist joints to try and ease it which has helped a little bit and since using the wrist splints at night, there has been a definite improvement. I still wake with numb, tingly fingers and experience numbness throughout most of the day but it’s not quite as bad as it was.

Being sized up

In the last week, I’ve had several people tell me that I have a ‘nice, neat bump’ and a couple of them only recently realised I was pregnant. It makes a refreshing change from most of the other comments I seem to get which usually imply that I’m huge for this stage of pregnancy and I’m growing a massive baby. One of those came just minutes after a ‘nice, neat bump’ comment and during the same mother-toddler group. Which just goes to show how subjective it all is. It’s a good job I don’t get hung up about these things.

Bye-bye summer

The weather was lovely and warm throughout most of the summer and then a week into September, it was as if a switch was suddenly flicked and bam! summer was well and truly over and autumn was upon us. The temperature suddenly dropped and along came clouds and rain. Whilst I’m not feeling especially cold (thanks to my little wriggly internal radiator!), Jessica has definitely been a bit on the cool side on waking up in the morning despite the thick pyjamas and fleecy blankets. Might have to start turning on the heating in the mornings sooner rather than later.

Church coffee morning

Had a coffee morning at church this morning to raise funds for Friends of PICU, a charity which helps children in intensive care at Southampton and their families and one which is very close to our hearts as Jessica spent so much time in PICU in Southampton. One of our lovely church friends came along to help watch Jessica (she is too big now to be happy sitting in a playpen while we serve teas and coffees) and also brought some home-made fairy cakes which was very much appreciated. We raised just over £50 which we were quite pleased with.

Complaining about carpal tunnel

Trying to write the thank you cards for Jessica’s birthday presents and having carpal tunnel syndrome is not a good combination.  I can manage to write a couple of cards before my fingers go really numb and then I have to stop for a while which is quite frustrating and means that progress on this has been a lot slower than I thought it would be.  The numbness and pins and needles is definitely getting worse – just waiting for a referral at the moment and then hopefully I can get some wrist splints to wear which will help ease this.

End of an era

Had a letter today to confirm that my midwifery registration has now lapsed and so I am no longer a ‘registered midwife’ although I am still a qualified midwife. I could become registered again next year if I complete the required number of clinical and study hours but realistically that’s not going to happen and so I will have to do a return to practice course in the future if I want to practise again. I knew when I decided to be a full-time mummy that this would happen but part of me is still a little sad about it.

Needing to slow down a little

Lovely to have a day catching up with a friend and her 11 month old daughter.  Jessica enjoyed having a friend and we all enjoyed a wander round the shops - getting my friend's daughter measured for shoes for the first time and Jessica getting a new pair as her feet have grown. The only downside was that I overdid things and was quite achy and tired by the time I got home. Must try and take things a bit easier - having been lucky enough to get to this stage of pregnancy with minimal discomfort, sometimes I forget I'm not Superwoman!

Comparisons

Physically this pregnancy has been quite similar to last time - both Pod and Jessica are/were little wrigglebottoms and on the whole I have enjoyed being pregnant. However, this time I am definitely getting more heartburn than last time (I don't think I needed Gaviscon even once last time) and carpal tunnel syndrome has also started in the last couple of weeks so I frequently get pins and needles and numbness in my fingers which is not very pleasant at times. On the plus side though, so far the SPD has not really caused any discomfort so that is good.

Time to relax

After the hecticness of the last week or so, it felt very strange to put Jessica down for her nap and not have a huge to-do list of things that absolutely had to be done while she slept. Of course there are still things on the to-do list but few are urgent and it was complete and utter bliss to be able to ignore the list for a while and enjoy an afternoon nap myself whilst I still have the opportunity! No doubt the to-do list will become more of a priority again as Pod's arrival approaches.

Charlie's naming day

Lovely day celebrating at our friends' baby Charlie's naming ceremony followed by afternoon tea which was very yummy and Jessica enjoyed getting to eat lots of cake for the third day in a row! The ceremony was lovely, particularly the speech written by Charlie's parents about how they feel so complete now he is here, what they wish for him, and their promises of love, respect and acceptance as parents. Admittedly my favourite moment of the ceremony though was Jessica saying 'mummy' for the first time - she has always said 'mum' or 'mum-mum' before so that was just magical!

Jessica's 2nd birthday party

We have had a lovely family birthday party for Jessica today at Grandma and Grandad’s house (they have a very big garden which has been fantastic for all the children to be able to run around in). We had a bouncy castle which the children absolutely loved and as usual I ended up doing enough food to feed the five thousand. Jessica enjoyed seeing the family and playing with her cousins and has had another lovely day. We still have lots more presents for her to open so her birthday celebrations will continue to last for a few more days!

Jessica's 2nd birthday

Jessica has had such a lovely second birthday – she enjoyed opening her presents and cards, playing with her new toys, seeing her birthday card being read out on CBeebies (although I think Mummy was more excited about that one!) and all the visitors who dropped by. We had a little tea party in the afternoon with one of her friends from the baby signing class who is a couple of months younger than Jessica which was great fun. Jessica loved her In The Night Garden birthday cake and was very quick to pull the figures off and start eating them!

No need to rush...

Today is Jessica's last day of being one. This time two years ago I was in labour. Michael and I still laugh over him taking me to work with him when I was in early labour as he had to set up an event which was 'on the way' to the hospital. He asked me to wear black so I would 'blend in with the crew' and introduced me to the event manager with the words 'this is my wife, she's in labour but don't worry she's going to sit in the crew catering room and get on with it!' 

One of those days...

Some days it just seems like everything goes wrong. My mother-in-law broke her jaw falling over in the bathroom whilst cleaning ready for Saturday's party and I picked her up from the hospital - thankfully she is ok but will have to live on soft food for a while. Then on the way home there was a warning light on the dashboard to tell me there was a problem with my brakes so the car is off to the garage. Fortunately I can to manage without my car for the next few days and can borrow Michael's if needed.

Icing modelling

I’ve been trying my hand at sugarpaste modelling as I want to make Jessica an ‘In The Night Garden’ cake for her birthday. I’ve never tried it before but had a quick look online for some tips and gave it a go. I made Igglepiggle first which was reasonably simple and turned out quite well but the other characters were a bit more tricky and I ended up redoing a couple as I wasn’t satisfied with my first attempts. I have two cakes to make so will use the original figures anyway – hopefully the cakes will also turn out well!

Out of the mouths of babes...

Jessica is generally very good but recently I have started using the ‘3 chances’ system if she is being a pickle. If she’s doing something and I tell her ‘no’ and she carries on, I say ‘that’s one’ and warn her that twice more and there’ll be a consequence (e.g. going indoors when playing out in the garden). So far we seem to always get to three and the consequence but I think it’s starting to sink in as yesterday she was wandering about and saying ‘no’ and holding up her finger and then saying ‘one’ which was very funny.

How to feed a family... book review

I was recommended the book ‘How to feed your whole family…” by Gill Holcombe by a friend and it has since become my favourite cookery book ever. The recipes are so straightforward and easy to follow and are absolutely delicious (the pork with apple and apricot was described by Michael as the best meal I have ever cooked!) and so far Jessica has happily eaten each of them. I love the meal plans at the back of the book with a shopping list for five evenings worth of meals (some of which use left-overs) which have also been very handy.

The little things in life

It’s sunny again and I have some more newborn baby clothes hanging on the line. Seeing washing hanging on my line in the sunshine always makes me feel happy – either I need to get out more or I’m just content with the little things in life! Here are some more ‘little’ things that make me happy:

*  Seeing the delight on my little girl’s face when I get her out of her cot in the morning

*  Sitting down with a cup of tea and a good book (a rare treat these days!)

*  Hearing my little girl saying “mum-mum”

Preparing for Pod

I’ve started preparing a little more for Pod’s arrival. The Moses basket has been brought down from the loft as have Jessica’s newborn baby clothes (the unisex ones anyway) which have now been washed and are hanging on the line to dry. I can’t believe how tiny they are, how tiny Jessica once was and that she will be two in just a week’s time. Where has that time gone? What a blessing it has been to watch her grow from that tiny baby in intensive care to a happy toddler who seems so healthy and brings so much joy.

A little walk

Jessica took her first walk into the village today – only 5 minutes’ walk away (at my speed, that is!) but still a fair walk for those little legs of hers. She loved it although did wreak havoc in the pharmacy by knocking the boxes of plasters on one of the shelves which was just at the right height for her to reach. Thankfully, the lovely ladies in the pharmacy know us quite well and were very understanding! The word ‘no’ doesn’t always work as well as I would like sometimes! But we did enjoy our leisurely walk there and back.

Social connections

I didn’t do antenatal classes when I was pregnant with Jessica – I felt I would struggle to connect with other mums-to-be because I felt my concerns would be so different. I still feel that was the right decision at the time but I do feel sometimes that I missed out socially as a result. I am in touch with other heart families, mostly online, many of whom I have met through our stays in hospital but it has taken nearly two years to really start making friends with other mums in my local area with children of a similar age.

Hunting the gold postboxes

We visited a few more gold postboxes on our journey back home, managing to tick another eight off our list. We’ve now managed to visit all the Olympic postboxes on the UK mainland – the only two left on that list are Sark and the Isle of Man. We also reached the halfway point with the Paralympic postboxes. There are only two gold postboxes left within reasonable driving distance of home so as we have no immediate plans to visit the parts of the country with unvisited postboxes, it looks like the rest may have to wait until after Pod arrives.

Another false alarm

After the fire alarm at the hotel, it seemed the day's dramas were not over as I woke in the night with tummy pains - some of which felt quite like contractions. For a while I was quite concerned that Pod was about to arrive early - and we were 275 miles from home. We called the local hospital who advised me to take paracetamol, have a hot drink and monitor the contractions over the next hour. Thankfully after an hour things were starting to ease and we didn't need to go to hospital. What a relief to be back home now!

Smoke but no fire

After spending the morning at the fun day Jessica and I headed back to the hotel for a nap while Daddy carried on working. We'd just got comfy and dozed off when the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building while we waited for the fire engine to arrive. It turned out that someone had been smoking in one of the rooms and that had set off the alarm. Thankfully all was fine and we were allowed back in fairly quickly so Jessica and I were able to snuggle up together and have a little sleep. 

Trolley rides

So lovely to have hubby home again although he is spending this weekend working on another event. This particular event is part of a family fun day and Jessica and I are able to come along too so we can at least spend some of the weekend together as a family. Trying to keep Jessuca occupied whilst Daddy was setting up was somewhat challenging until she discovered that the trolley which had been used for unpacking the truck was great fun to sit and ride on or push her toys around on. It kept her happy for quite a while!

Book worms

My daughter loves books. One thing she often does in the morning is to go to her little bookcase, get out the books one by one and bring them over for me to read to her. I don’t get a lot of time to read for myself though so when I had some free time last night, I started on a new book by an author I love. Unfortunately I got a little too engrossed. It was 2.30am by the time I managed to stop myself reading and go to sleep! Which means I’ve been a very tired mummy today!

The packing puzzle

Packing the car up after spending a couple of days at my mum’s was a challenge! It reminded me of one of those puzzles with the odd shapes that you have to try and work out how to put together to make a cube shape. I thought my car boot was fairly full when I left home but somehow I managed to squeeze in several big boxes containing birthday presents for Jessica plus a few bags of clothes without having to resort to piling stuff all over the back seat. Jessica is definitely going to be spoilt on her birthday!

Family time

Another lovely day of catching up with family. Spending the morning shopping for Jessica's birthday presents with my mum, then visiting Auntie Pauline, Uncle Peter and Auntie Shirley. Back to my mum's for dinner and my sister Maxine popped in and then a lovely evening visiting my twinny, brother-in-law and two nieces. Always so lovely to spend time with my family - and having such a lovely big family means there are always lots of people to catch up with whenever I come down for a visit.  Plus Jessica loves spending time with her aunties, uncles and cousins too.

A fun few days

They say all good things must come to an end and so it was with the visit from my twinny as she and my nieces headed back home today. It has been such a lovely few days - we have enjoyed picnics in the park, a day out at the open air museum, an afternoon of baking cookies and cakes, fun in the garden playing with the ball and splashing in the paddling pool. The girls have all had such a fun time together and it has been such a joy to see how much Jessica loved being with her cousins.

A little trip

Tripped over whilst crossing the road on the way to the chiropractors today and fell flat on my face. Thankfully my hands and knees took most of the impact and I didn't fall on my bump. A very lovely lady helped me up and was quite concerned when she suddenly noticed the baby bump but I reassured her I was fine and my lovely chiropractor provided plasters and sympathy and made sure I was ok. Hands and knees are very, very sore - all grazed and bruised and moving about is painful but Pod is fine and that's what really matters.

A day at the museum

Hubby is away this week working on an event in Cologne but my twin sister and two nieces have come to stay for a few days which is just lovely. Jessica absolutely adores her cousins and is loving having them around at the moment. The three of them are so lovely together and my nieces love helping out with Jessica – they are even happy to change stinky nappies which is fine by me! We have had a great day out at Chiltern Open Air Museum today – the girls loved exploring the old buildings, making beeswax candles and seeing farm animals.

Friends of PICU family fun day

Have had such a lovely day with Jessica and her godmummy Katy at the Friends of PICU family fun day . Jessica won first prize in the fancy dress competition for her octopus costume and it was lovely to see a couple of the people who have looked after Jessica on PICU when she was a little baby. We also got to meet Erin, another heart baby whose journey we have been following, along with her parents and big brother and it was so lovely to finally meet them all in person and see how well little Erin is getting on.

A little octopus

Have been busy making Jessica an octopus costume for the Friends of PICU family fun day as there is a fancy dress competition and one of the categories is 0-2 so thought I would enter her in it. The costume consists of three pairs of coloured tights which have been cut up, stuffed and attached to a waistband (plus she is wearing another pair of co-ordinating tights, a pink top to go with the tights and a hat with eyes stuck on. She does look very sweet in it and was quite fascinated by all her extra 'legs'.

Scrapbooking

I’ve finally got around to scrapbooking the cards that we received when Jessica was born. It’s only taken me the best part of two years to do this. I’ve been meaning to do it for ages and with Pod due to arrive in just over two months’ time, I’ve realised that if I don’t do it before Pod arrives, then I probably will never get around to it. I’m about halfway through at the moment and it is so lovely looking back and remembering just how many people were so supportive and lovely during those first few weeks in hospital.

Storytime

Jessica was ‘reading’ me a story this morning which had lots of different animals in it. She was standing next to me, turning the pages of the book and pointing to each picture of an animal or object that she recognised and then signing the word to me. It was so cute. Occasionally she’d try and say the word (e.g. duck or car) or she would try and make the animal noise whilst signing. My favourite has to be her little lion roar – it is just the cutest little roar – although the elephant noise is a close second. Precious moments. 

Snack-time sharing

Like most toddlers, Jessica goes through little phases of picky eating every so often. However, as her daily calorie needs are higher than most toddlers due to her heart condition, it can be quite stressful trying to make sure she eats a reasonable amount without making a big deal about it. This afternoon, she refused to eat anything at snack-time until I started ‘feeding’ her snack to one of her toys. She loved the fact that the toy was ‘sharing’ her food and ended up eating it all. Hopefully this technique will continue to be successful for a bit longer!

A little guest in the garden

Was sitting out in the garden playing with Jessica today, when a little hedgehog popped out of the bushes and had a wander around. We had a hedgehog living in our garden a couple of years ago but haven’t seen one in the garden since Jessica was born. I’d heard rustling in the bushes a few times recently whilst putting out the washing and now I know what it was. Jessica was fascinated at seeing a hedgehog for the first time although I had to stop her making a beeline for the part of the garden where he was wandering.

Who needs the fairytale?

I once wanted a man to sweep me off my feet, to be my knight in shining armour. My husband has never quite lived up to those expectations but I have learned that real love is so much more than fairytales and romance. He once surprised me by meeting me from work during the summer holidays when I wasn't expecting him to visit. Throughout all Jessica's surgeries and hospital stays, he has been there for us providing strength and support. He tells me I am beautiful when I'm tired and feel like a beached whale. He makes me feel loved.

Trying to be organised

I thought I’d get organised today and start washing some of Jessica’s unisex newborn clothes in readiness for Pod’s arrival. Unfortunately when I started sorting through the bag of unisex clothes that hubby got down from the loft some time ago, I found it was all 3-6 month clothes or bigger. I am sure that there were definitely some newborn things that were unisex so there must be another bag up in the loft still. Now I just have to wait for hubby to get them down for me – just as well there’s still a couple of months to go!

Making history come alive

I love history and have really been enjoying the BBC drama series ‘The White Queen’ based on Philippa Gregory’s Cousins War novels. Watching a series like this or reading novels based on historical figures always makes me want to go away and do some more research to try and discover more about the facts on which the TV series/books were based. Somehow I can soak up information so much better when I can link it to a real person and be able to imagine the scenario – it makes all those dates and historical facts really come alive for me then.

On the news

Jessica has been on the news today for the second time (the first time being when she was 14 weeks old in intensive care – the local news were running a feature on children spending Christmas in hospital). This time, we were filmed at a toddler signing class which took place in a newly-created community space in a large Tesco store. The feature was about the decline of out of town shopping due to internet shopping and how this particular store is redesigning its space to attract customers. We were only onscreen briefly but we still made it onto the news!

Summer days

I am loving the weather at the moment. After the heat and humidity of July, it is nice to have sunshine, a nice breeze and daytime temperatures that are pleasantly warm - just a lovely comfortable temperature. Add a bit of overnight rain to keep the plants happy and it would be perfect. It would be lovely if it could stay that way for the rest of the summer - no doubt it won't last as long as that but I will certainly be enjoying it while it does last. And taking advantage of being able to put washing on the line!

Catching up with old friends

It is always lovely to catch up with old friends, and all the more so when it is completely unexpected. One of my housemates and closest friends from my university days dropped by this afternoon as she was passing through the area where I live. It's been quite a few months since we last managed to catch up and it was wonderful to spend a couple of hours with her. I miss my uni days sometimes - it was so great to have so many friends living within walking distance and to be able to just meet up at short notice.

Enjoying afternoon tea

We've had a lovely time having afternoon tea at cousin Meryl's to help her celebrate her 60th birthday along with lots of her friends. Jessica thoroughly enjoyed herself although Mummy got a little frazzled trying to keep up with her wanting to run about and explore everything, stopping her trying to go outside in the rain and then trying to prevent her grabbing hot teapots and cups of tea or smearing cake over the furniture! She's definitely a busy little bee these days, bless her! I couldn't persuade her to eat any sandwiches but the cake certainly went down well!

Teething troubles

Jessica is teething at the moment. We've had two teeth make an appearance in the last few days and two more look set to appear in the very near future. She always seems to do teething in bulk - her first two arrived close together then nothing for a few months and then we had ten in the space of about six weeks (that wasn't a fun time!) We've had quite a few quiet months on the teeth front - so far the latest set seem to be coming through with a bit less trouble than we had last time.

Gold post box hunting

We’ve had a successful day hunting Olympic gold post boxes and have visited four today during our travels around East London, Essex and Bedfordshire. This brings our total of Olympic post boxes to sixty so there are just four more left on the list to visit. We’re unlikely to manage two of them in the foreseeable future (the ones on Isle of Man and Sark) but we are planning to visit the other two on the list later on this month. It’s given us a great excuse to visit parts of the country that we otherwise wouldn’t have gone to.

On the low side

My blood results from Wednesday’s clinic appointment have come back and shown that I am slightly anaemic. This explains why I have felt so completely exhausted recently despite getting fairly good amounts of sleep – I had just put it down to the hot weather and reaching the third trimester (although admittedly I hadn’t remembered feeling quite this tired at this stage with Jessica but then I didn’t have an active toddler to look after!) Hopefully the iron supplements will help improve my energy levels and fingers crossed that my iron levels will be back up when they are next checked.

Comparisons

Pod has now reached the same gestation that Jessica was when she had her very first surgery in-utero. It is amazing to think that was over two years ago – what a frightening time it was and what a huge blessing it is that we now have the joy of watching Jessica grow and develop. Whilst this pregnancy has been similar physically to last time, it has been a very different experience on an emotional level and although I am very thankful for each step on the journey and where it has led us to, it is nice to experience normality!

Back to normality

Had my antenatal clinic appointment with the consultant this morning and am so relieved that all seems to be going well and they have now transferred me back to midwife-led care! This means I can have my appointments at the GP surgery next door to my house rather than having to drive to the hospital each time which will be much easier. It’s also nice to be classified as ‘normal’ and ‘low-risk’ once again – I really hope that this will continue to be the case for the rest of my pregnancy this time around and that all will be well.