Time to deck the halls...

Just over a week to go until Christmas and I still haven’t managed to get my decorations up. To be fair, we normally don’t put them up until mid-December so we’re really only a little later than usual this year, but when everyone else seems to have put theirs up at the start of December (and sometimes earlier), it does feel like we’re very late at getting them up. Hopefully we’ll find the time over the next couple of days to get them down from the loft – once they’re up it will really feel like Christmas is on the way.

Family time

We have had a lovely time catching up with the family and introducing Sophie to some more of her aunties, uncles and cousins. Seeing Jessica with her cousin Scarlett who is ten days older was particularly delightful – they were both so happy to see each other and kept giving each other cuddles and kisses before sitting down and colouring in pictures together. Sophie, as usual, slept through most of it all but seemed to enjoy all the cuddles that she got from everyone. I enjoyed being able to have a bit of a doze while everyone else entertained my children!

Ocean Ward Christmas party

Our third Christmas party of the year was the Families of Ocean Ward Christmas party – organised by other heart parents who have had their children treated at the same hospital as Jessica was treated at. Jessica thoroughly enjoyed herself in the soft play area and on the bouncy castle although wasn’t quite so sure this year about meeting Father Christmas although she did like the present! Sophie wasn’t impressed at all at seeing Father Christmas and voiced her objection to it all in no uncertain terms (although being hungry may have also had something to do with it as well!)

Christmas rush

The run-up to Christmas is always such a busy time. Every year, I think I’ll be more organised and not leave everything to the last minute; I’ll start writing the Christmas cards towards the end of November so that I’m not rushing to get them written in time to get posted so that they’ll reach people before Christmas and every year it feel s like somehow Christmas still manages to sneak up on me and it all ends up being a last minute rush. Of course, having a new baby this year does give me an excuse for being disorganised!

Things which make me happy

Things which make me happy:

• Seeing Sophie smiling and starting to really look at people.
• Watching Jessica chattering away to herself when she is sitting in her chair with her books.
• Snuggles with my babies – the way Sophie just curls up against me and nuzzles into my shoulder and Jessica climbing into my lap and snuggling up to me (miss the days when I could just sit and cuddle Jessica all day without her wriggling to get down)
• Watching my husband with our beautiful girls and seeing how much their daddy loves them – my three favourite people in the world. 

Sophie's stage and TV debut

Sophie made her stage debut in today’s concert being rocked by Mummy for her solo ‘Hush You, My Baby’ (and also accompanied Mummy on stage for the group numbers too!) She was underwhelmed by her first stage appearance – in fact she slept through the entire concert! Then in the evening, she made her TV debut too as she appeared on ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ being cuddled by the celebrity dancer Sophie Ellis-Bextor at the Downing Steet children’s Christmas party (and even got a mention too!). We were inundated with text messages from excited friends and family members who had spotted her.

Happy heart day

It is two years today since Jessica had her second major open-heart surgery. Today we have been putting on a concert to help fundraise for the paediatric intensive care unit where she was treated and we managed to raise £376 which was great. We are so very thankful to all the medical team who have looked after Jessica – without all the wonderful care she has received, she wouldn’t be here today. Watching her today and seeing our beautiful brave little girl running around and dancing on stage is such a huge blessing and we thank God every day for her.

Children and concert rehearsals

Final concert rehearsal this evening before the big day. Had to take both girls out to rehearsal with me as all my possible babysitters are all taking part and also needed to be there. Despite it being a late night for her, Jessica was quite happy playing with toys and covering the piano in stickers and Sophie was happy as long as she was being fed (am getting used to rehearsing whilst feeding but hope I won't be trying to perform and feed on Saturday!) It's all coming together now - hopefully all will go well with the performance on Saturday.

Christmas party chez Cameron

We have had such an amazing day attending a children’s Christmas party at no. 10 Downing Street which we were invited to through the Alexander Devine Children’s Hospice charity (Jessica’s community nurse is an Alexander nurse). Jessica and Sophie seemed to thoroughly enjoy the day and we got to meet the Prime Minister, children’s TV presenters Dick and Dom and some of the remaining celebrities on Strictly Come Dancing and their professional partners (which we were very excited about, being huge Strictly fans). Jessica and Sophie also got to see Father Christmas – all in all it was a wonderful day.

Little Hearts Matter

There are several charities that we have become connected with since Jessica was first diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart. The first of these was Little Hearts Matter, a charity which helps provide information and support to children who are effectively living with half a working heart and their families. Their antenatal pack, in particular, was very helpful in those early days when we were getting to grips with Jessica’s diagnosis and our options. Since Jessica’s birth, we have also found their other information leaflets helpful, particularly as the information provided is more specific for the type of condition Jessica has.

Remembering my dad

It's four years today since my dad died. Four years since I had to say goodbye to the most wonderful dad a girl could ever have. I was blessed to have thirty years with him around - so many happy memories of family life. I just wish that my little girls could have known their lovely grandad - he would have absolutely loved them to bits. I remember how much he doted on my twin sister's two daughters - I think in the last years of his life he often got a bit confused, living in the past and thinking they were us.

Coughs, colds and concerts

There's just a week to go until our Christmas concert. I haven't managed to do very much rehearsing over the last week thanks to a sore throat and a cough which have left me with very little in the way of a singing voice. Things seem rove gradually improving although the cough is still being quite persistent. I really hope it disappears by next week otherwise things could be interesting! I'm looking forward to being on stage with Sophie for my solo and it would be quite disappointing if I wasn't able to sing after all. Keeping my fingers crossed!

RIP Nelson Mandela

With the recent passing of Nelson Mandela, the world has lost a truly great man who has inspired millions of people. His death is sad news but I wouldn't describe it as 'tragic' which was one adjective I heard used on the news. The death of a child as a result of abuse and neglect; an innocent person being killed by a drunk driver; the loss of anyone who had so much more to give - these are tragic. Nelson Mandela lived to the age of 95 and helped changed the world and make it a better place. RIP Nelson Mandela.

What a difference a day makes

It's like I have a different child tonight. She's awake at the moment but calm. Her cry is not the really loud angry cry of the last few days - it is simply telling me that she needs something 'Mummy, I'm hungry', 'Mummy, change my nappy' rather than 'I'm starving, FEED ME NOW!' (followed by angry throwing herself on and off the breast). Today's chiropractic treatment seems to have made a huge difference. Poor little love, something clearly had been bothering her over the past few days. So nice to see her so much happier and have my happy baby back.

Sleepless night

Last night was definitely one of the worst nights for sleep deprivation. Sophie slept for about ten minutes in total between 7pm and 7am. We tried putting her in our bed, patting her in the Moses basket, umpteen feeds and nappy changes, giving a bottle of expressed milk, rocking, patting, singing, even putting her in the sling and going for a walk around the village at 4am. Nothing worked. Eventually she fell asleep just after 7am. Have seen the chiropractor today and she has done some gentle cranial work on Sophie so fingers crossed we have a better night tonight. 

Life in rhymes

Before we had children our Christmas newsletter was always written in rhyme. It started when I sat down to write our first joint newsletter and my husband grumbled that every suggestion I made for the first line was either too cliched or jumped in too abruptly into our news. We switched back to prose after Jessica's arrival - discussing her heart condition and surgeries in rhyme felt too flippant. This year, life has felt more 'normal' and although I wasn't originally planning to write a rhyming newsletter somehow I couldn't resist the challenge. Not sure I'll manage it every year though!

Nativity scenes

I've been taking photos today for our family Christmas card. Last year’s was a photo of Jessica in her Santa dress in front of the Christmas tree. This year, I decided that a nativity scene with Sophie and Jessica would work quite well and would also mean that Jessica wouldn’t have to hold Sophie or we wouldn’t have to try and prop her up. She wasn’t too keen on being in the basket with the hay though despite having a pillow underneath and so we had to be quite quick at taking the photo before she started voicing her objections!