Pod is here!

We are thrilled to announce that Pod has arrived! Baby Sophie Elizabeth was born in the pool at home this morning and weighs in at 8lb 10.5oz – a whole 3lb heavier than her big sister was at birth! Jessica has been absolutely fascinated with her little sister – she met her within a few minutes of Sophie’s arrival and kept saying ‘baby’ over and over again and wanting cuddles and kisses with her. We have had such a lovely first day with the new addition to our family – Sophie is absolutely gorgeous and we are so thrilled to finally meet her.

Musings on milk

I’ve been taking part in an online debate about wet nursing and giving donor milk (neither of which I’m opposed to – Jessica had donor milk when she was first born and I have donated several litres to a milk bank). It’s a shame that such debates often result in women attacking other women because of how they choose to feed their babies though. I know breast is best but would never judge anyone for choosing formula. Jessica was breastfed for 17 months but had formula too for various reasons relating to her heart condition so I can appreciate both sides.

Jessica is here!

Baby Jessica Charlotte decided that she wanted to choose her own birthday rather than wait for the induction and arrived on 6th September at 08.50, weighing in at 5lb 10oz. She had her first heart op at eight hours old to enlarge her atrial septum and reposition her pulmonary veins and is currently on PICU, recovering well from the first op and awaiting a second op which will take place early next week. She is such a beautiful baby and we love her so very much already. We will be posting regular updates on her blog which is at http://jessica-thejourney.blogspot.com/

September is here!

I can’t believe that September is here already. This is the month when Jessica will make her arrival and I just pray that we will have the miracle that we are hoping for and she will be able to have surgery and get through it. It surprises me how many people seem to think that I can’t wait for this pregnancy to be over and assume I must be very uncomfortable by now – I have loved being pregnant and feeling Jessica move and whilst part of me is excited at the thought of meeting her, it is also very scary.

Home alone

Michael is away again this weekend on another work trip but hopefully this is going to be the last one before Jessica makes her appearance. At least this time he hasn’t left the country but it’s still far enough away to make me a little nervous about whether he would be able to get back in time if Jessica did decide to arrive sooner than anticipated. Thank goodness it’s just a short trip though – he’s back on Monday and his parents are just down the road in case of emergency but hopefully there won’t be any need to call them!

Realisations

Going out for curry with a group of friends last night was fun, but it brought home to me once again how very close the next stage of our journey with baby Jessica is. As we said goodbye at the end of the evening, it dawned on me that it was quite likely that I wouldn’t see some of these friends again before Jessica’s arrival – the next curry night being planned for after our induction date. By this time next month, we will have taken another step on the journey and the future is so uncertain and I am scared.

35 week scan

Back to Oxford again this afternoon for another scan. The situation with Jessica’s heart looks pretty much the same as it has been at the last few scans – the foramen ovale still appears to be very small but there is blood flow through it and Jessica appears to be coping well. Her size wasn’t measured today but hopefully she is still continuing to grow well. She is still a little wrigglebottom and gets hiccups at least a couple of times a day. Just the fact that she is active and as well as can be expected is a huge blessing.

Anxious anticipation

Now that we have an induction date booked, the next stage on this journey with our baby girl seems to be that much nearer. I am becoming increasingly aware once again of just how precious all those little movements are and how blessed we are with every day that we have with our baby girl. There are times when staying positive and optimistic seems that little bit harder and I struggle to have faith and trust in God. Michael has been the most amazing support throughout all of this – I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful husband.

Moving on

Now that our journey is nearing the next stage, our care at Oxford is starting to reach its end. We have been anxious at the thought of leaving the care of a team in whose hands we felt so safe and having to get to know a new team of people. However, one of the good things about going to Southampton is that it is a familiar environment to me – I did my midwifery training there and already knew the midwife and consultant obstetrician whom we met at our appointment which has helped us to feel more at ease there.

Another day, another hospital

Met the Southampton team today and have been booked for care there. The decision as to whether to attempt surgery will be made after Jessica is born as it depends very much on the situation regarding blood flow to the lungs which cannot be fully assessed until they are in use after birth. If this is poor, then Jessica is likely to get sick very quickly after birth and will be too unwell for surgery to be an option. The odds of surgery being a viable option are low but we will keep praying that it will be an option.

Had another scan at Oxford today to check how Jessica is doing. Her heart condition still remains pretty much as before and we are due to see the team at Southampton later this week for another scan and to discuss the possibility of post-birth surgery. Our consultant at Oxford has warned us not to raise our hopes too high though – the severity of Jessica’s heart condition does mean that the odds of post-birth surgery being likely to succeed are still quite low. On the plus side, she is still wriggly and we saw her beautiful little face on scan today.

Getting closer...

We are now in August which means that Jessica is due to arrive next month (and will hopefully hold off until then before deciding to make her appearance). I am not anxious for this month to go by too quickly though – even though we have a little hope again, the future is still very uncertain and so every moment that we still have with Jessica wriggling about is so very precious. Those movements are certainly getting quite big now and I can definitely feel little feet sticking out! It is just lovely to feel her moving about so much though.

32 week scan update - part 2

Jessica is continuing to grow well – at yesterday’s scan, her weight was estimated to be 4lb 2oz which is fairly average for this stage of pregnancy. She also seems to be coping well with everything – there are no signs at present that her heart is starting to fail and hopefully this will continue to be the case. She is still just as active as ever (and just as hiccuppy!) – she was wriggling about so much during the scan yesterday that trying to measure the blood flow through various parts of her heart was a bit of a challenge at times!

32 week scan update - part 1

Today’s scan shows a similar picture in terms of blood flow to the one two weeks ago but we have been given another glimmer of hope. The team in Southampton have seen our scans and are willing to consider attempting surgery after Jessica is born. It will depend on whether she is well enough after birth for surgery to be attempted but at least it may now be an option. If I go into labour from now onwards, then Jessica will be given drugs after birth to keep the hole in her heart open and then assessed for possible surgery.

Playtime

Jessica’s wriggles are definitely much bigger now and I can see my bump really move when she starts being active. She also gets hiccups quite a lot – generally several times a day. Michael and I sometimes play a little with her when she is active – patting where she has kicked in response to her movements or balancing a CD case or something like that on my bump when she is moving and watch it moving about with her. She also seems more responsive – often if she is quiet, I will rest my hand on my bump and she’ll then wriggle.

Starting to nest

My nesting instinct has started to kick in. Trying to prepare for Jessica’s arrival is difficult though – we want to go and buy some things, but because the future is so very uncertain, we can’t buy all that much right now. Wandering around baby shops brings the realisation home again that our situation is so very different from how we’d anticipated things being at this stage. I’ve cleared space in our guest bedroom for the few baby things that we do have, but clearing out the room which was originally intended to be the nursery remains on hold for now.

Cordocentesis results

We had the results of the cordocentesis (a test where blood is taken from the umbilical cord and screened for genetic abnormalities) back today and thankfully the results are completely normal. Our consultants didn’t think that it was very likely that Jessica’s heart condition was linked to any genetic abnormalities but it is a relief that this has been confirmed. The test has also confirmed that Jessica is definitely a little girl – we would have been very surprised if this hadn’t been the case after all the scans that we have had but it is good to be completely certain.

30 week scan update

Today’s scan showed that things are fairly similar to how they were last week – the blood flow through Jessica’s heart and surrounding blood vessels is about the same, and there is still fairly high pressure in the left atrium. The plan remains the same at present – not to intervene after she is born (although it would be too early as yet to do anything anyway). We will keep praying for further improvement and for post-birth surgery to become an option though. On the plus side, she seems to still be coping well and growing nicely (estimated weight now 3lb 1oz).

It's good to talk...

Whilst I generally manage to enjoy my pregnancy, there are times when I find it hard and feel a bit isolated because I can’t quite relate to what other women are focusing on at this stage of pregnancy. Since Jessica’s diagnosis, I have discovered that one of my school friends has a son with a similar heart condition. It felt strange to be calling her for a chat after so many years but within minutes we were chatting away easily and I felt so much better for being able to talk to someone who understood exactly how I was feeling.

One week post-surgery - scan update

Our scan yesterday shows that Jessica is doing well after last week’s surgery. The team are pleased that the surgery was successful in that the hole in her heart has been enlarged and she coped well with the procedure. There is some improvement in blood flow through that hole and through one of the pulmonary veins although the blood flow through the other still seems much the same and so the current plan is still for comfort care after birth. We will keep praying for further improvements as she will still need more surgery after birth in order to survive.